#302 Clearing Emotional Clutter + Getting Out of Your Own Way

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If you feel like a mess on the inside, your business will, too.

The past two years have been a huge process of personal transformation for me. Now that my 50th birthday month is here, I’ve been doing a lot of reflection about my own journey and struggles…

And I’d like to share the work I’ve been doing to clear my emotional clutter and get out of my own way.

It’s personal, but I think it’s relevant to the challenges we face as makers and business owners.

The problems in your business can sometimes be a reflection of your own inner turmoil. While that may be difficult to come to terms with, it’s also great news – because it means your own personal healing can have far-reaching benefits in your business and personal life.

For the purpose of this episode, I’ve broken the process down into five steps, and many of these exercises are a core part of our Momentum coaching program over here at Flourish & Thrive Academy.

Ready to dive in?

Clearing Emotional Clutter + Getting Out of Your Own Way notes

“It's really important that you take time to identify and clear any emotional or energetic clutter or trauma that is actually getting in your way and so for the last several years, I've been on a journey of doing this for myself, and I'm telling you it is deep work.”

Welcome to Thrive by Design, the podcast for ambitious independent jewelry brands, looking to profit from their products, get ready to make more and sell more doing what you love, without spending every single waking minute doing it. Hey, and if you're a creative fashion or product-based business, I want to welcome you to the show. I'll be dropping big tips on launching, growing, and scaling your business. Spend more of your precious time using your creativity to make you ready. All right, let's do this.

Emotional baggage. Let's just say if you don't clear it out, you end up weighing down your business and, you know, I think a lot of us could use a little bit of getting out of our own way and today I wanted to record this very special podcast episode for thrive by design, in celebration of my birthday, and I'm gonna share the journey that I've been on clearing the emotional clutter so that I can rise up to be my best leader, my best self, and all the things that we all need to do for all of us running a business to actually grow and evolve. So Hey there, I'm Tracy Matthews. I'm the Chief Visionary Officer over at Flourish and Thrive Academy and the host of the Thrive by Design podcast. I'm really excited to be here today to talk a little bit more about some really fun stuff and to celebrate a workshop that I'm hosting. 

Actually, it'll be later today because this episode goes live on May 18, which is actually my mother's birthday, super excited to be celebrating her. For those of you who've been listening to the show for a while you probably know this, but my mom passed away about 28 years ago now. And may 10 is her birthday. And I always remember when I had my birthday on May 21st. It was always a special time for me because I got to celebrate my birthday with my mom every single year and I remember this one year it was right before my 21st birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to drive down to San Clemente from LA where we were living. And surprise her. Little did I know that my ex boyfriend or my boyfriend at the time, my ex husband and her were actually planning a surprise party for me. And so we went down to surprise her, she had no idea she was a list maker. And like, you know, I like to say that she always had everything whipped into shape and perfectly planned because that's just who she was. And I totally, you know, found out about my 21st surprise birthday party. 

Because of that, because we love to celebrate with her. So that was a fun memory of her. And I wanted to continue to keep her memory alive. And so today, actually, later today, it's a little bit too late to sign up now. But I'm hosting a workshop that really reminds me of her because it's really all about whipping your business into shape, and aligning everything that you're doing inside of your business with a bigger vision and plan of where you're going to help you get more focus, clarity, confidence and move forward so that your business continues to grow and with that being said, since it's too late for that one I wanted to share with you because my my birthday, it's my 50th birthday. It's a huge celebration. 

For me, I always had this dream of having like this big birthday party with all the things happening and inviting, you know, all of my friends. And you know, I think I had this dream that I would be like singing on stage and doing some sort of performance. I don't know, every year I was like, Oh, you got to start training for that thing that you want to do for your 50th birthday. Alas COVID hit and things just got to the last minute. And because I didn't express that I wanted a birthday party for Jason, we instead of going on a trip. So I want to have a birthday celebration with you. I'm having a small party with some of my family members here in Scottsdale, but we're keeping it super small this year. And so I think maybe I'll have a 51st birthday, who knows what big to do and shebang. All my friends are turning 50 this year, we're like laughing about it anyway, in honor of my 50th birthday, I am hosting a June event. That is basically June is a grow your audience month over here at Flourish and Thrive Academy. 

And so as a free birthday gift to you I'm going to be giving you an amazing download that will have some tips on expanding and growing your audience so that you can get more sales. Plus, I'm hosting a one day event all about this on June 15. We're gonna have speakers and panels and all the most amazing stuff to help you get prepared for the holiday season. Because right now like May, June, July, is going to be a pivotal time for you to actually continue building your audience. So you have more people to market to during the holiday season. So we're going to be covering things like growing and engaging social media, following building your email list with qualified leads, expanding your reach with press opportunities for holiday and beyond driving more traffic to your website via organic search, converting subscribers into buyers on autopilot, plus expert panels and so much more. 

This event is going to be hosted virtually and as my birthday gifts, I'm going to be doing a really early, basically presale for this at a no brainer price point and it is insanely affordable. Let's just put it that way. And part of the reason for that is I just want to be able to get as many people as I can to join because it is going to be an epic event. And I want to support as many people as possible in growing their audience and getting things ready for the holiday. 

So if you'd like to get on the waitlist for my free download, and for the birthday gift, you can head on over to flourishthriveacademy.com/growyouraudience and we'll have a waitlist there. If you're listening to this after the waitlist is down, you will definitely have an opportunity to check out that page and the rest of the details as well. So this is perfect for you, I just want to call you out if you're thinking of wondering if this is right for you. If you have an established business, and you'd like to build a more consistent audience building strategy, if you're building an online sales and revenue stream channel in addition to other revenue streams, or if it's your only revenue stream for sure. If you do live events, trade shows or art fairs and want a seamless way to take in person conversations online. Or if you just want to plain have an awesome holiday season in general. Head on over to flourishthriveacademy.com/growyouraudience get on the waitlist and or get your tickets right there. Super excited. 

All right, let's dive in. The past two years literally have been a huge process of transformation for me personally. And while I talk about my personal journey and struggles a lot on this show, I've been working diligently, diligently to clear trauma out of my life and get out of my own way. And it's been something a lot of times you hear this, you probably have heard this phrase like sometimes we teach what we need to learn, and all those things. And so I don't know who needs to hear this today. But if you're a mess inside, your business will be a mess too and so anytime things are disruptive in business, you feel scattered or you feel pulled in too many directions, or overwhelmed. Or just like your business is basically a shit show excuse my language. 

Well, it might be nice for you to take a look inside of yourself to see what's going on. Because I think one of the reasons why we get pulled in so many directions and distracted is that we're not really clear on where we're going, right? And because I think this is such a relevant conversation, to what I'm actually teaching in the Aligned Vision workshop that I'm teaching today. I know some of you are joining me for that we have a really great group of people joining, it's a little too late to register, because we have pre homework and all that stuff. But I really want you to join us for the next workshop that we're having, Expand Your Audience and Grow Your Sales in June, it's going to be amazing. 

Not to be confused with the one I'm talking about for today. And I wanted to bring this up because I think it is super important and something that I help our Momentum students with on an ongoing basis and something that I work with my private consulting clients with, on an ongoing basis. And something that I work with my coach with, and with Jason helps me with operations and stuff like that is to get focused on what really matters. And these things are actually going to move you towards your goals. Because a lot of times we get super distracted. And the reason why we get distracted is because we think we have to put more stuff out there or we're not dealing with the swirling that's happening inside. And some of that might be because of our belief system. Some of that might be for a variety of other reasons. But because the problems in your business are oftentimes a reflection of what's happening inside you and maybe creating chaos in your business, it's really important that you take time to identify and clear any emotional or energetic clutter or trauma that is actually getting in your way. 

And so for the last several years, I've been on a journey of doing this for myself, and I'm telling you it is deep work. And so I want to share with you some of the things that I've done to help me kind of get to the other side because I'm super excited. This summer, I'm going to be announcing some really amazing things that I'm doing with my Creatives Rule the World brand, and with Flourish and Thrive Academy, and just how we're streamlining things over here is just going to be super duper fun, and I cannot wait. 

So here are our few ways and I like to kind of dial this in because a lot of the trauma that we have experienced in life have to do with our experience have to do with the stories that we use to make meaning of events that actually happened in our lives. If you haven't listened to it yet, Jason and I did an amazing episode at the beginning of the year. All About clearing your own internal stories and basically reframing those stories so that you're attaching true meaning to them. And I'm gonna explain a little bit more about what I mean by that. But that's the first step of this is to deal with the stories or clear the stories. 

Here's why, we all have an internal belief system and a script that we operate out of, we don't realize it, it's an unconscious thing. That's why clearing these old patterns and getting to the root of your issues, can do a lot of the legwork. These stories are really powerful. And the reason why is a lot of times they come into our vortex or realm because of what our parents taught us, because of experiences that we had, that we've touched meaning to, and because of like, you know, ancestral lineage, or trauma, or whatever that might, whatever that means to you. And, as I mentioned, we use this exercise or we do with this exercise and one of our training sessions that we host for our Momentum students, we also have a version of it and are Laying the Foundation program. It's called the Rapid Reframe exercise. And let me kind of explain how this works. 

Because everyone's got a belief system, for instance, about money. You know, some people easily attract money and can make a ton of money. That's never an issue. They're artists, you know, they are like, I think of my friend Ashley Longshore, who is a very successful artist in New Orleans. She has celebrity fans and a following she likes, making millions of dollars a year as a pop culture artist. She is crushing it and doing amazing now and I think of other designers in our community who do not have issues like ever attracting sales or figuring things out to make money, for instance, like some of the superstars that I want to call out, or people like Karina Harris, or Alex Camacho, or Wendy Hively of Charlie Madison Originals, like all these designers, they their situation and experience was all very different. 

But they kept you know, they kept moving forward, they kept drawing the line they kept. And I'm saying drawing the line, they just kept taking it day by day, step by step moving their business forward to reach their goals, even though there were hardships that they had to encounter, or during those times, they were focused on that. But then there's other people who have these belief systems about money. And that, you know, I see people having meltdowns in our community all the time, not feeling like they're good enough, not feeling like it's really hard to make money. telling themselves stories, like artists can't make money or money doesn't grow on trees or money is hard to keep but easy to make. You know, it's hard to make sales, like I don't like putting myself out there, whatever your story is, once again, these are all just stories and perceptions of yourself that aren't necessarily the truth of your situation. 

It's just what you believe to be true. And so one of the steps that I really want to encourage you to take is to clear those stories. And I want to share with you an example. Jason, I hope you don't care if I share this with you. But Jason tells a story to me and his friends all the time that he his parents had this belief. If you want anything done, right, you have to do it yourself. And that story has actually really hindered him in business. And the reason being is Jason is a brilliant, like insanely brilliant operations person. He's like the bridge between a visionary and operator. And he does amazing things for businesses. But I know that one of the things that actually held him back and moving his own business forward for a period of time, was having the ability to actually ask for help when he needed it. And so instead of getting other people to support him to help him grow his business, he always was the person doing all the work. And so that's been a journey for him. 

So I want you to think about some of the things or the beliefs or whatever is coming up for you, that is actually not really serving you anymore, and identify what those things are. Also, I just want to mention this shameless plug for Jason, if you are someone who already has a business that's doing over a million dollars, and you're looking for an executive coach, or someone who can help you scale to multiple seven figures, or even eight figures, he is like brilliant at it. So if you'd like an introduction, just shoot me a message on Instagram @TracyMatthewsNY and he might be your guy. You never know. 

Shameless plug for you, baby just wants to tell you like he's so good. Like he's helped me so much in business, that it's really helped me keep my head on straight. Anyway, the whole point of this exercise is like starting with your stories is to have like an ability to kind of clear your identify and clear your those negative emotions and the beliefs and identify where they're coming from. I'm going to talk a little bit more about that in just a minute. 

Because when you have an understanding of this, you have an opportunity to flip the script and actually change that story. Because the more knowledge you have an understanding about how you operate and where you're operating from, the easier it is to change things that become problems. And as I mentioned, a lot of times what's happening inside of us is a an internal reflection about what's happening, or happening in our business, is an internal reflection of what's happening inside of us. And I want to continue reiterating that especially for people who like I, Robin and I used to always talk about, like, you know what, what to do like if a retailer ghosted you like you had a relationship and they're not responding. And a lot of times you just don't know what's going on and half the time, when someone goes to you and they're not responding to you, it really has to do with something that's going on for them has nothing to do with you. 

Probably more than half the time, I would say that, or maybe even all the time, right. So the next step of this is to give others back what is not yours. Right. So throughout life, we experience different types of trauma that trigger different emotional states. And sometimes we take those emotions to be the truth of our reality, or recreate a reality around it. And they're often just a feeling that's attached to a memory, or an experience that we had from childhood and those traumas. And I'm not talking about how trauma can be a lot of different things. 

Like and I'm not minimizing this for people who were severely abused or something like that. But trauma could be just, you know, you not understanding like for me not understanding why my dad wasn't around when I was a little kid. He wasn't around because he was trying to support his children. And he had to make a lot of money to support six kids when he was only 30 years old. And that was a big, a lot of pressure for him. And so I'm going to share a little bit more about that in a minute. But when you can't identify those traumas, they often keep you in a victim loop, or on an emotional roller coaster, when you get set off or triggered, as we like to say. 

So good examples of this could mean something like like, let's say you have a customer who asks you for a refund, and you immediately go into a tailspin of panic, like a lot of the time, it's likely isn't about the money unless you don't have the cash for the refund, it triggers you. 

Because you likely for one reason or another don't feel valued, heard or seen. Or without dealing with the root cause of these emotions and reactions, you're bound to be stuck in fight or flight mode, which I think is a common thing for a lot of us. And it might even be this like continual loop that goes on forever if it's not handled right. And one step, so my friend, Britt Lefkoe, her dad has this method or developed this method called the Lefkoe method. And this is a step that's kind of borrowed from this methodology. And it's you. Similar things are used in different healing modalities. So I'm sure that you might have heard of this before some other way. But the core of this method is that a lot of our belief system was really created in our formative years, usually between the ages of like four or five, to seven, because that's like, usually when we have our strongest, like, first memories. 

So what we would do is to have you go back to a time when you were a child, and when you first experienced or could remember having that emotion or that trigger. So for example, I'm gonna share how this worked for me. I mentioned this earlier, I've had abandonment issues in my entire life. And so I kept attracting relationships, where the man either emotionally abandoned me, or they literally abandoned me. I get ghosted all the time by the guys that I would date, I would attract these emotionally unavailable men. And anytime I was in a relationship with someone who was super secure, and wanted to be with me, and express that it became very boring and like repelling to me, and I didn't understand why couldn't find a good person. 

Well, I got really clear on what was happening when I did this exercise. Erin, my friend, Erin also studied the love code method. And so she helped me with this. And sort in order to kind of clear this belief system and maybe emotional trauma for myself. I remembered a time when I was a kid, it was back in our house in Irvine, where I was sitting on the carpet in the living room. And I remember, like, I think my parents were smoking cigarettes, probably in the house at the time. And I remember my dad leaving and I was like, really freaked out. And I was getting like, severe anxiety about it. And Erin, who was helping me work in this the left code method, had me identify all the feelings that I was experiencing at that time. And they were feeling so abandonment that he didn't love me, like, why wouldn't he be around, maybe he didn't love me and my siblings, that's why he was leaving, or it was too overwhelming for him. 

But at the end of the day, when we dug a little bit deeper, and we identified some alternative reasons why this might be happening, I realized that more than likely the reason that he was leaving was because he actually had to, to support our family and to put a roof over our heads, and to be a father to do that traditional role of fatherhood and put food on the table. And so once I cleared that up, it took the charge out of that and guess what happened? 

A few months later, I ended up starting to date Jason, who is emotionally available, who also came from a similar framework who had some sort of abandonment issues, not necessarily from childhood, but in other ways. And we ended up being like a super solid couple for each other because we were so committed to making it work out and working through our issues that we held each other if that makes sense. And so you can actually literally really quickly transform your situation when you understand the root cause of like, where that information is coming from. And so I was able to replace that old belief with a new belief or new understanding of that story that I had created for myself. 

Now, the third step is to connect with your inner child. And so this is a little woo woo. But you know, you might have done this exercise before. But I think the important part of this thing is when you can really like talk to that person, and make them feel safe, and make that younger version of you feel heard and understood, then a lot of healing can come of it. So you know, I'm not perfect at doing this. But I can share with you some of the ways that this has worked for me, most of this has been moderated under a healing modality, my friend Christy has a company called Sanga, where she helps people with sound healing, and emotional healing through their healing modality using an energetic board where they resonate, music and sound through to help you heal faster. And so one of the exercises that she had me do was healing a fight or flight response that I was consistently having, every time something would go bad, or something would go sideways in business, it was, honestly, it's been so debilitating to operate out of fight or flight for the majority of my life. And so I really knew that this was something that I wanted to heal. And so what she did is she had me visualize myself as a little kid, and get them to a place where I felt safe. My healer Melanie also does this, sometimes I pick up the kid, tell them that they were saved, like give, give my my younger version of myself a big hug. Sometimes it's like walking through a grassy field, like whatever works for you, you know. 

And then you want to take the story that you're having and integrate the pieces of the story. In as you're in inner child, ask this, this younger version of you, what they need to say, what they need to be told, and what they need to feel safe. And this will help you kind of heal that part of yourself. That is not working, I really recommend doing this exercise with someone else. It's a little bit harder to do on yourself, but you can do it on yourself. In fact, I was at a healing retreat a couple of months ago. And when I was younger, when I was a high schooler, I had anorexia and bulimia and had a severe eating disorder. And it makes me emotional to think about, but I spent about an hour by myself healing this part of myself, because I never went into therapy or anything to actually heal it, it just at some point, I kind of grew out of it. 

But some of the lingering side effects of that has still followed me maybe for years to come. And as I we were like walking into this retreat, and I was taking a look at like what what I could heal, like if we had to pull a picture of ourselves when we were a kid pull a picture of ourselves when we were a teenager and pull a picture of ourselves now. And when I looked at that teenage version of myself, all I could see with this was this person who was starving herself and who was so unhappy, because she felt like she had to be perfect for everyone else, instead of just loving herself. And so I gave her an opportunity to actually love herself and spoke to her and also gave her an opportunity to talk to her, the younger version of herself. And I integrated all pieces of me into the woman that I am today. And I'm telling you, this is a process. It's not something that just happens overnight. But no matter what you've experienced in your life, these pieces of you, these fragmented pieces of you can be brought back together. And so that inner child work really, really helped me kind of clean up some of this mess that I was still experiencing my life. 

So step number four is to experiment and try different healing modalities, and practice them often. So part of my journey for the last 15 years or so I've been working with my healer coach, as I call her. She has a really unique process. Her name is Melanie Erickson. She's amazing. Like I speak to her once a month. And it's always like at the perfect timing because I'm like, always need her exactly when I have to talk to her. And she goes in and channels basically like my higher self and helps me heal some of the parts of myself that aren't aligned. And it's incredible. But there's lots of different modalities out there. So I just want you to find something that resonates with you. A couple that I would recommend are things like meditation or sound healing. I mentioned Sanga earlier with my friend Christy Warfel. They have a really amazing healing modality actually Jason's being trained in it right now. And as someone who's been working on using this modality, it is insane. Do exercises like the Rapid Reframe that we offer over here and a Momentum program and in the laying the foundation program. 

I mentioned the left code method where you're identifying the root causes of your problems or your emotional states, right. Obviously, traditional therapy is great. And something that I've been playing around with for a while has been plant medicine. And the reason why I got involved in this and this is a little bit a controversial topic to talk about on the podcast are all sorts of plant medicines. What most people think about is those extremes like healing retreats that you go to Peru to do. Sure, that is one modality. But there are also a lot of different gentler healing modalities, including like Psilocybin or MDMA that's done on regarded therapy, and other types of plant medicine that will actually help you kind of move beyond any trauma or PTSD that you've experienced. And the thing that made this really ride home for me was that they'd been experimenting using MDMA, and Psilocybin to heal war veterans who were in severe PTSD states. And this allowed them to actually live productive lives and be out of it. I dated for many years, a former navy seal.

 And part of the reason why we could never have a productive relationship was because he would get triggered and put into PTSD. And so he had this belief about himself, that he would never like, never be able to show up for me in the way that I needed to because he needed to take care of himself. Because when he got triggered, he would be off the grid for many days at a time, and some, sometimes even months and go off the grid. And I can't even imagine what it's like to be a veteran and someone who actually was in combat in battle and saw people die, had to probably kill people, you know, all the things, they can't talk about it. And I can't, I can only imagine what that's like. And so you know, I'm on my path. 

And it was the right thing for me not to continue a relationship with him, obviously, the best relationship I could have for myself right now with Jason. But I did find it really fascinating that they'd been experimenting on this. So I'm like, if it works there, then I'm sure it would work for me. And I had gotten some feedback from friends of mine who had gone through different modalities. And it really worked. And so you know, I understand that people might have, you know, feelings about that, or whatever. But I'm just sharing with you different types of ways or different modalities that can offer different types of healing, if and when you're ready for it. And then I think the other way is just plain old coaching, like life coaching, business, coaching, consulting, getting outside your business. 

We over here at Flourish and Thrive Academy, we have a coaching program called Momentum. I also do private consulting with select clients who have bigger budgets, who have bigger companies as well who want to want to work with me on strategy and other things. And then there's people like Jason, who have a consulting business where they're actually working on a regular basis with bigger companies. He is epic. As I mentioned before, definitely recommend any and all of those things to help you kind of heal and get out of your own way to clear your emotional clutter. 

Now, Step five is all about breathing, integration and acknowledgement. This is really weird to share. But I used to be a smoker A long time ago. And I think the reason why I smoked was because I used to hold my breath all the time. And smoking allowed me an opportunity to actually breathe and relax. sounds disgusting, and it is disgusting. I remember I would drive on my way to Nordstrom, this like this visual is coming into my head, I would drive from my place in Marina Del Rey to Nordstrom there was like two stops on the freeway or something like that. 

It might cabriolet smoking the cigarettes all the way probably stunk. When I showed up. I certainly stank. When I showed up. I chewed a lot of gum back then, who knows. And I remember it was really hard to quit because that smoking even though it was a disgusting habit, became, you know, I said I was a social smoker, I probably smoked a little bit more than social smoking in my early 20s. But it just gave me this calming effect and relief. And I can understand why people smoke, sometimes it's disgusting. But at the same time, a lot of us hold our breath. And it gives us an opportunity to exhale and reduce anxiety. And to ground us a little bit in a weird way. But you can do the same thing with a breathing practice. 

So one of the ways that I like to teach meditation, and then I just taught it when I used to teach yoga was to get into a state of having a regular breathing practice. Because when you feel stressed, you can just breathe into that sensation and visualize it going away or breathe it and dissipate it right and use the exhale to actually let it go. And as you do this, you can start to create an integration practice where the different parts of yourself start to come together. And your mind, body and spirit start to get a chance to catch up to your emotions. 

And so this is a really important part of that. Another part of the integration phase is like allowing yourself space and time to maybe journal. And journaling can look a lot of different ways to a lot of different people. I've shared my practice at times. It's part gratitude, part asking for help, part visualization and part praying because I think all those things are really important. And so I would start for many years and part of the ways that I would manifest some of the things that I was creating in my life was that it spend so add a timer for about 20 minutes in the morning, I spent about five minutes writing out a gratitude list, I'd spend about five minutes asking for help. I'd spend some time visualizing and writing out that visualization as if it had already happened. 

So basically designing the life that I wanted and the business and then asking for help for where I needed help. And a lot of times that helps start with like, I need a miracle today, I need this or I need a miracle today, I need this. So right now it's like, whatever it is that you need in your life, you can pray and ask for it, and send it off to the universe without attachment to the outcome, because that's how the best thing actually comes to you. If you let it come in, right. And then make sure that you're continually getting support and help in the process. And I think the most important part of this is to understand that like, there's only so much that you can gain insight that you have on your situation. And a lot of times we're going to a silo, it's really hard to see what we don't know about ourselves. And so we need those external eyes, whether it be someone you trust, who is a friend or colleague, like someone who could really who's gonna be honest with you to really call you out on your stuff super hard with people close to you. 

Like, it's super hard sometimes when Jason tells me what I need to do, or when my dad or people who actually like you're close to, or my brother or whatever, in particular, because like a lot of times like we have history with those people. And so it's harder to hear it. So you can get people who are more objective that actually are in alignment and want to help you move on to that next level, this can be super powerful to get you to that next level. So acknowledge your growth and get help and support in the process. So that might be part of that is in the form of getting coaching or consulting, or hiring a mentor or something like that, or getting aligned with a mentor whatever works for you. But the acknowledgement of your growth, I think is super key here. Because the more you can, like literally track where you've come from an exercise that we were doing in the workshop I'm hosting today, the Align to Ignite workshop is basically mapping out the last three years like where were you back then? And how far have you come because a lot of times, we don't acknowledge how far we've come, because we are stuck in what's actually happening. 

So pay attention to your growth because this is where you can integrate, breathe, and really align everything that you're trying to create for yourself. So I wanted to just recap these five steps to clearing your emotional clutter and getting out of your own way. Step number one is to clear your stories.  Step number two is to give others back what is not yours. Step number three is to connect with your inner child. Step number four is to try different healing modalities and practice them often and step number five is to breathe, integrate and to acknowledge how far you've come. And with that being said, Yeah, I'm super excited about this. And I really would love to invite you to get on the list for my free birthday gift. Head on over to flourish thrive academy.com forward slash grow your audience you can get on the list there, I'm going to be giving you a free resource that is designed to help you grow your audience. But I'm also going to give you access as my birthday gift to you for 50% off the Grow your Audience, Expand your Sales, one day event that is happening on June 15. 

It's going to be available on May 21 for pre order and to get on the early bird at 50% off so make sure that you get on the waitlist now if you want to get that either way. We are super excited to support you in preparing your business and expanding your audience spending the next couple of months expanding your audience to grow your sales for this holiday season. Alright, this is Tracy Matthews signing off till next time, happy birthday to me. Happy birthday month. we're embarking on our nine year anniversary over here at flourish and thrive I can hardly believe it. And I am thrilled to come here every single week into your earbuds. Thank you so much for listening to the show today. And I also want to thank everyone who earlier this month rated and reviewed the podcast so I'd like to read a couple of those ratings and reviews really quickly. 

So here is one from JPSlipperarts.com I'm learning so much on how to set myself up I have a new jewelry store. And I am setting myself up for success just by listening to Thrive by Design. And all the wonderful guests have so many ideas that I need to prioritize how to implement them. Awesome. And snapchatter457 says motivates me to be brave in business. Tracy's Creative Rule the World reached me at the right time and Thrive by Design. I was thrilled to discover she had a podcast tour targeted towards jewelry businesses. I started listening and she has given me the motivation to pursue my dream of starting a jewelry business. I love the insights that she brings out every single week and I feel she speaks to me encourages me to find my inner creative self and to be brave in business. And let's see is saying I needed input. I liked I needed input as a novice to business and I find the information so helpful. 

Well, thank you all so much for reading and reviewing the show. If you'd like to rate and review the show, I would be honored for you to do that. You can head on over to Apple iTunes flourish, thrive academy.com forward slash podcast review and I have a free resource for you to download if you submit a rating and review to the show. So thanks so much for listening today. This is Tracy Matthews, signing off. Until next time,

Click here to download the show notes

Step #1: Clear the Stories Holding You Back

The stories we tell ourselves are powerful.

You may not realize it, but we all have an internal script for what we believe to be true about ourselves. That’s why I often teach my students about getting to the root of your issues and clearing the stories that are holding you back.

These stories can be about money, relationships, health, success, your own abilities, and pretty much everything under the sun.

When it comes to finances, a few common examples I hear from artists and designers are…

  • “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
  • “You can’t make money as an artist.”
  • “Money is easy to make but hard to keep.”

The first step to overcoming your limiting beliefs is to identify where they come from and do the legwork required to unlearn them.

It’s a long process. If you’re interested in diving deeper, Jason and I did an entire episode on it last year.

Once you’ve identified where your negative emotions or beliefs are coming from, you have an opportunity to flip the script and change that story.

Step #2: Give Back What is Not Yours to Keep

Throughout life, we experience different types of trauma that trigger different emotions. 

Sometimes we take those emotions to be true when they are often just a feeling or a memory of an experience. 

If we let them, those traumas can keep us in a victim loop or emotional rollercoaster when something negative happens.

For example, if a customer asking for a refund sends you into a tailspin of panic and negativity, there is probably a bigger issue that needs to be addressed.

It likely isn’t about the money, unless you don’t have the cash for the refund. It probably upsets you because it taps into base fears of failure or being undervalued.

Without dealing with the root cause of these emotions and reactions, you are bound to be stuck with these negative associations and limit your growth.

Step #3: Connect with Your Inner Child

This step has personally been very impactful for me.

Many of the limiting stories we carry with us stem from childhood experiences we were not emotionally equipped to process at the time.

Exercises that help you visualize your inner child and make them feel safe can be an incredible way to let go of negative attachments.

It’s a way of accepting the past so you can better focus on the present.

I cover this in more detail in the full episode above, as well as the last two steps of the process that will help you clear your emotional clutter and get out of your own way.

xo, Tracy


Episode #258: Change Your Story with Jason Ayers

Momentum Coaching Program

The Lefkoe Method

Expand Your Audience & Grow Your Sales Workshop



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