Triggers, Truth, and the Power of Female Friendship with Tracy Mathews, Felicia Romero and Anette Oran
Have you ever wondered why some friendships fade away while others deepen over time? Or why your partner's small habits can trigger such intense emotional reactions? In this deeply vulnerable episode, I sat down with two incredible women, Felicia Romero and Annette Oran, for a raw, unfiltered conversation about friendship evolution, relationship triggers, and the power of authentic connection.
What started as a casual chat quickly turned into an emotional deep-dive as we opened up about our personal struggles with abandonment wounds, sisterhood betrayals, and the challenges of growing alongside (or sometimes outgrowing) our romantic partners.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- [5:20] Why your ride-or-die friendships feel totally different in your 30s & 40s!
- [15:45] The friendship breakup no one talks about – when your values just don't match anymore
- [24:30] “I triggered them?!” – turning relationship friction into your greatest transformation
- [31:50] The clearing session: the 10-minute communication hack that could save your relationship
- [41:10] When you're growing but your partner isn't: real talk about what to do next
The Evolution of Female Friendships After 35
One of the most fascinating insights from our conversation was how our friendships transform as we mature. Felicia shared that many of her most meaningful friendships didn't begin until after she turned 35, when she had truly found her voice and authentic self.
This resonated deeply with me after moving to Arizona and feeling disconnected until finding my conscious community. Annette added a beautiful perspective about how there are friends for different seasons of life, but also those core connections that transcend life changes and geographic distances.
We explore how personal development and growth naturally attract people who align with our evolving values, often leading to shifts in our social circles that, while sometimes painful, ultimately serve our highest good.
Key insight: As we evolve and reinvent ourselves, our friendship circles naturally transform to reflect our new values and interests.
When Friendships End: Navigating Value Misalignments
We tackle the delicate subject of friendship endings – not because anyone did something “wrong,” but because of fundamental value misalignments that become increasingly apparent as we grow.
In the episode, we discuss how to recognize when a friendship consistently drains rather than fulfills you, and the wisdom in lovingly releasing connections that no longer serve your highest good. Felicia vulnerably shares her experiences with “sisterhood wounds” from past business partnerships and friendships, while Annette offers wisdom on identifying when value systems no longer align.
Key insight: Outgrowing friendships is a natural part of personal evolution, not a failure.
Relationship Triggers: Treasures for Transformation
Perhaps the most powerful segment of our conversation centers around the counterintuitive idea that our deepest triggers in relationships are actually doorways to profound healing and growth.
Felicia courageously opens up about her current relationship struggles, sharing her experience of evolving spiritually while feeling her partner isn't matching her desire for depth and consciousness. This emotional moment sparked an important discussion about what to do when you're growing but your partner seems content staying the same.
We dive into why triggers appear in relationships and how they often reveal unhealed wounds from our past that need attention – making them treasures rather than problems to avoid.
The Clearing Session: A Communication Tool for Deeper Connection
Annette introduces us to “The Clearing Session,” a transformative communication technique that creates space for expressing what's truly happening within us without the other person taking it personally.
We discuss how this structured conversation format has helped navigate conflicts while maintaining deep connection – especially valuable for those of us who tend to shut down, run away, or become defensive when triggered.
The episode provides a glimpse into how this tool works and why creating safe space for honest communication is essential for relationship longevity.
Authenticity vs. Validation: Breaking Free from People-Pleasing
In the final segment, we explore the delicate balance between authenticity and the need for external validation. Annette acknowledges her journey as a recovering people-pleaser who's learning to release the need for constant approval, while Felicia shares how she's reached a place of greater self-trust.
I share my own challenges with showing up authentically in new ventures, recognizing how perfectionism can block true connection. We discuss practical ways to overcome validation addiction and embrace the power of speaking your truth, even when it might trigger others.
The most powerful revelation from our conversation? When we stop worrying about being validated and start showing up authentically, we not only attract the right people into our lives but also create the space for transformative growth. As entrepreneurs and creative women, releasing the need for external approval may be the very thing that unlocks our next level of success, both in business and in our personal relationships.
I hope this episode resonates with anyone who's struggled with authenticity, outgrown relationships, or felt triggered by those closest to them. If you found value in our vulnerable conversation, please take a moment to rate and review the podcast. Your feedback helps other women discover these important discussions about growth and healing, and lets me know these raw, unfiltered conversations are making a difference.
xo, Tracy
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Links in this episode:
Follow @feliciaromero on Instagram!
Follow @anetteskyeoran on Instagram!
The Conscious Creators Podcast
Buy My Book: The Desired Brand Effect